Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
