I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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