Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
