For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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