i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
