He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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