party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
