Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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