Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
