i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
