went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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