Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I have feelings that need drinking.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize