i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
