please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
