i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize