Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
