i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
