your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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