It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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