Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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