please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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