i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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