You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
