is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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