ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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