I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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