if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
