at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
