She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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