Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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