and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
