just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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