he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
