i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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