I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize