i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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