i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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