We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
even my farts smell like vagina
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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