they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
