I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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