Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
