I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize