i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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