take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
