i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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