So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
