Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
