So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
