I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
