so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
