will power is for people who don't want to get laid
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
