Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
