He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
