i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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