is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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