you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
