Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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