Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
it's like heaven, but drunker
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
