i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize