I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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