Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
